- go to whichever college with a smile and my intense drive, regardless of whether it was where I had originally hoped
- finish high school with nothing below an A-
- complete an official half marathon in under two hours
- chop my hair off and donate it after graduation (length and charity TBD)
Amherst, MA, USA
Dressed in black to mourn our grades...and by chance, for an orchestra concert
Chasing the sun
A fruit arrangement in honor of this no refined foods challenge
Festive sweaters make me happy
College: where riding in a car is a luxury
The best fruit
It's almost finals week, which means anxiety and the constant desire to cry, sleep, and eat dark chocolate have replaced my usual contemplative state. The philosophical thoughts will have to wait until next time. There are papers to write, exams to study for, stressors to conquer.
Until then, enjoy some of my favorite instagram posts, in reverse chronological order. If you'd like to keep up some of my artsy endeavors and life happenings, you can find me here: @imperfectidealist. Also, I've been regularly updating lookbook and chictopia, so if you're looking for outfit posts, head on over there.
Talk to you all soon, and best of luck on any exams or projects.
Columbus, OH, USA
Sweater, Forever 21 | Button-down, thrifted Ralph Lauren | Necklace, Maxnina | Skirt, thrifted Hollister | Tights, Kohl's | Shoes, DSW
Photos by my brother
Cardigan, thrifted Target | T-shirt, Old Navy | Skirt, JCPenney | Belt, Forever 21 | Scarf, gift (Gap) | Boots, Tommy Hilfiger | Glasses, GlassesShop (20% off with code LilyX20)
The glasses in this post were sponsored by GlassesShop. All opinions are my own.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, my resident counselor fashioned a colorful construction paper turkey on my floor's bulletin board. Beneath the turkey, he pinned a note: write something you're thankful for on my feathers!
Some of the responses were sincere, others off-color. One in particular, however, caught my eye:
The relative bad that makes good good.
I wish I knew who wrote it. I wish I could thank whoever it was for the insightful reminder of the intrinsic, beautiful duality in the world. But at the same time, not knowing contributes to the intrigue, the serendipity of it all.
School is not easy. It's easy to become hopelessly and helplessly entangled in the self-imposed pressure of high expectations. I want to earn A's in as many classes as possible. I want to master my music for orchestra and lessons. I want to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and sleep well. I want to make meaningful connections. I want to explore new activities. I want to attend social events. I want to feel like I'm making something of myself.
Sometimes, this pressure is suffocating. A couple times, I've cracked, my usual cheerful demeanor and composure crumbling into panic, or tear-stained cheeks and uncontrollable sobs.
But each time I've fallen apart, friends and family have graciously and gracefully helped me piece myself together. They've listened to my rants, enveloped me in warm hugs, patiently explained complex math problems, tediously reviewed early drafts of papers. They are encouraging, uplifting.
It's true--bad can indeed be good. As painful as it is sometimes, I am grateful for the opportunity to study in such a stimulating environment, particularly because it's allowed me to realize that I am far from alone as I tackle each challenge.
I, too, am thankful for the relative bad that makes good good.
* * *
Similarly, that resonant observation also applies to my experience with this pair of glasses from GlassesShop. When I first tried them on, I was jarred by how disorienting and blurry they made my vision. I was convinced that they had gotten my prescription wrong, but after playing around with the frames, I realized that the lenses were perfectly fine if I looked straight ahead, only becoming distorted when I peer out the sides.
I still would not recommend this specific pair of glasses because of the distortion, but I am definitely pleased with this company's customer service. Since I thought my prescription was wrong, I emailed one of their representatives to describe the problem. Her reply was prompt and courteous, and she assured me that each pair is double-checked and then offered to send a new pair if I were able to verify problems with the prescription.
Again, I learned something good because of something bad. Rest assured they strive to get things just right the first time, and strive to make things better otherwise. They have a wide selection of trendy frames, and I especially liked their wayfarer options. I will warn you though, that because their prices are inexpensive, the case is not very protective--it's a basic plastic one won't do much if dropped. Other than that, do check em out if you're looking for some new frames, and don't forget to use the 20% discount in the outift details!
Have a beautiful weekend and safe travels for the holidays,
One outfit, three locations:
Amherst College, MA
Hartford, CT; city outskirts
Hartford, CT; Connecticut State Capitol
Sweater, thrifted L.L. Bean ($3.90!!) | Skirt, thrifted Hollister | Boots, XOXO | Necklace, Macy's
First photo by Alura Chung-Mehdi, the rest by Dad
College: where seeing your parents, riding in a car, and eating quality food (aka Asian vegetables) are all luxuries.
I remember idealizing college. How it would be a break from the familiar, the abandonment of monotony, an adventure. And it is. But it's also a grueling challenge, an awkward separation, an uncomfortable transition.
A couple weeks ago, my dad flew in to see me for family weekend, which was beyond a blessing. But his visit confirmed just what I had feared: that home is no longer familiar. I now have to ask about everyday life--I'm no longer part of it. Are you and mom still grocery shopping on Saturdays? Do you still order out every now and then?
Technology makes it easy to stay in touch with friends and family, but staying in touch is inherently different from remaing a part of their immediate lives. Video calls cannot replace physical presence. There's only so much you can share and understand behind a computer screen--distance is a barrier to delving beyond the surface of our nuanced lives, beyond the everyday occurences.
Interestingly enough though, I feel closer to my family. It's easy to take parents and siblings for granted when you live at home, when they're always there. To be completely honest, I didn't get along well with my ten-year-old brother--bickering, criticism, sass, and sarcasm dominated our relationship. But last week, he said he wanted to mail me some of his Halloween candy. It was touching, considering that I could barely finagle a kit kat out of him last year. And via old-fashioned email and the weekly video call, I probably tell my parents more about current happenings than I did in high school.
It's a bit different with my friends--our worlds sometimes feel like separate spheres. It's unsettling. I miss having deep talks, adventuring, even experiencing the mundane with them. But the mark of true friendship is being able to walk different paths and still remain invested in one other. Letters, messages, and skype sessions may not be ideal, but they're nonetheless uplifting.
And in less than two weeks, I'll be home again. I wonder sometimes if I'll enjoy returning as much as I envision. I feel like nomad, oscillating between two places that are now equally unfamiliar. Feeling uncomfortable and lost, however, are regular symptoms of growing pains. And college is a challenge I strongly believe will be well worth it in the end.
Here's to exploring, searching, wandering, and learning.
Top, Target | Dress, thrifted F21 | Oxfords, F21
Photos by Jingwen Zhang
One week later:
Sweater, thrifted J. Crew | Scarf, China | Jeans, Macy's | Boots, Old Navy
Photos by Iris Zhang
I glance up. Expansive cerulean skies and wispy white clouds greet me. I inhale. Refreshing mountain air infused with sunshine and a hint of fall fill my lungs. I had been hesitant to go to school in a small town, but now I am grateful.
Mind foggy with fatigue and burdened with stress, I feel a sudden urge to set it all aside. To forget my midterms, papers, grades. To simply drink in my beautiful surroundings.
"Is it socially acceptable to lie in the grass by the campus center?" I ask my friends abruptly.
I decide for myself before they can answer. "Oh well, too bad if it isn't!"
Abandoning my hefty books and overflowing backpack on the outdoor cafe tables, I scurry over to find just the right spot on the verdant lawn. I plop down, stretch out, and close my eyes for a moment.
When I open them, I find that I have company. My two friends and I watch the meandering clouds in comfortable silence. Then, I hear a giggle. It soon becomes collective uncontrollable laughter.
We pull ourselves together and visit office hours for our math professor. But after a session of multivariable functions, we find ourselves watching the sky yet again, this time on the campus gem: the impressive hill overlooking colorful forests stretching beyond the horizon. We talk--of our fears, our past, our hopes, our values. We resonate.
As the breeze tickles my skin and the sun warms my cheeks, I smile. I am content.
With four upcoming major assignments and midterms, I await more moments like these in the near future.
P.S. I made this skirt!
One of my favorite parts of the trip was not the sights, the shopping, or the food (though all were incredible--especially the food), but seeing friends from home. Since I stayed with a friend at MIT, I was able to catch up with her and meet new people and experience another school culture. Then, serendipitously enough, another high school friend spotted us in Chinatown, so we met up to walk Seaport and Little Italy the next day.
I even got to fulfill #7 of my bucket list: meet a fellow fashion blogger in person! Since discovering Brittney's blog, Another Beautiful Thing, last year, I've never ceased to admire how well she balances fashion, personal life, and commentary on her blog. She was just as insightful, kind, and polished in person, and I'm so grateful to have had the chance to chat with her.
Wishing you all well--when I can again drop notes on your blogs is still up in the air, but it may not be until the end of this semester. For now, blogging will simply be a means of gathering my thoughts, but I hope to rejoin the community soon enough.