December 15, 2013

Secret Asian

Blazer, Marshall's//Top, thifted//Shorts, Kohl's//Boots, Mom's//Necklace,Target//Sunglasses, c/o Firmoo ($39)
There's a fine line between being realistic and being negative. If you say that you don't think you'll win an election because people have voted for the funniest candidate--not the most qualified one--in past elections, is it negative or simply honest? To evaluate a goal and decide that it's too far-reaching--is it a gloomy attitude or a realistic one? To predict an unsavory outcome based on intuition and previous performance--is that pessimistic or candid?

Just a few things I've been pondering these past few days as I wait in agony for college decisions. It's exciting to be greeted by green check marks as I submit my final applications. Now, on to scholarships! (Speaking of scholarships...many scholarship deadlines didn't let me apply in the order of how much I liked each school, which is rather upsetting). I'll have to be vague about college details until I make my final decision on May 1st; I don't want any of my colleges to be offended they decide to take a peep at my blog and see that I've talked about some colleges more than others. While I will inevitably have favorites, I believe that I could be happy at all the schools I've applied to.

But back to all that long white beard philosophy stuff. I've been struggling with this lately--the fine line between being pessimistic and realistic. It's extremely similar to the one between being optimistic and delusional. I'd like to be positive and think that I'll be accepted to very selective schools, but some of my earlier applications weren't nearly as polished as I would've liked them to be. As you go through the application process, you gain experience, discover new things, and streamline/reorganize details. There are so many uncertanties to this process now.

But I guess that's what dreams are for--they're not dreams at all if they're certain to happen! It's definitely being negative if you go into chasing a goal with the attitude that you'll fall short. Thinking that way lets you be lazy. It allows you to be more emotionally detached. But if you're emotionally detached, you don't try as hard. It's a toxic sort of safety--if you fall short it's no big deal since you didn't try. But you'll never get anywhere that way!

It's a certain type of vulnerability to immerse yourself in your ambitions, to throw it all on the line, even if you may fail. To acknowledge that you tried your hardest, even if you do fall short. It's tough to let go of your pride. It's tough to be vulnerable. It's tough to leave the comforts of safety for uncertain opportunity. But it's so worth it in the end.

I'm most worried about disappointing my family--there's that whole Chinese bringing honor to your family thing. I hate letting people down. But this college search shouldn't be about prestige--while it matters in the real world, searching for a school should really be about best fit, about finding a place where you'll grow and thrive. It's a two way deal--both the applicant and the school are looking for a best fit. I've done everything I can, and now, it's all out of my hands. I think this quote says it nicely: What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us (Ralph Waldo Emerson). I'll be okay, no matter what happens.

On a lighter note, if you noticed something different about my photos, it's because I recently purchased a 50mm lens! I'm loving it so far and can't wait to head out for more photos--even in this crazy cold. I've even been asked to so some of my friends' senior pictures!

Oh, and if my outfit looks familiar, it's because it's a winter version of this one. I meant to do a "How to Transition from Summer to Fall" post but college apps took precedence. I will be rambling on about college for awhile, so I apologize in advance. It's kind of taken over every high school senior's life and we occassionally go into histrionics.

Also, Firmoo sent me a lovely pair of prescription sunglasses to review, and I couldn't help but use a pun for my post title; the first thing my brother told me when I put them on was "you look like a spy." So if you want to look like a spy too (or a secret Asian haha), check the site out! They have tons of afforable frames and even a first pair free program.

Finally, please enjoy this wonderful video that I deem relevant due to my punny post title. Nothing like a little comedy to lift your spirits. Have a beautiful week!

Join the conversation!

  1. Oh Lily, you are such a smart girl, and colleges are going to be eating out of your hands! I'm glad that you're keeping a positive attitude and that you'll be happy with wherever you go--I love that about you--but I feel like with your writing skills and overall intelligence, you'll be able to get into any school you want. Best of luck, and don't stress about it too much! :) Let the process do it's thaaang.

    I love them glittery shorts on yououou. And that blazer is so nice! Don't get cold, ya hear?

  2. you look really lovely! <3
    anyway, good luck with your education dear

    sweet and sugars,

  3. gosh how I enjoyed reading this post and all those thoughts. they are THAT good and I can agree on almost everything. plus I'm totally looking forward to finding out all about your actual college and studies. so exciting!
    when it comes to your outfit I have to say I'm loving the layering. it's kind of laidback but still slightly fancy too and I love contrasts. and those shades of sandy brown and gold are beautiful. oh and your spy glasses look fierce!
    take care and enjoy your week, dear :)

    Maikeni blogi - part of me

  4. I love how you mix your prints! This inspires me to have more fun in my photos! :)

  5. Thanks so much for your warm bd wishes :)
    I do agree with you, it is a fine line between simply realistic and pessimistic about life or all things related. I try to find that balance in between and often it seems challenging. I always tell people how I feel I hate sugar coating lol
    Btw I do notice the differences in your photos! Love it! Hey I have not seen you in sunglasses! Looking sharp!

  6. Oh, I agree! It's always hard to find a line between being pessimistic and realistic, at the same time the line between being optimistic and delusional in unclear as well. Probably, there is no line, such way of thinking means seeing the world only in terms of extremes. But traits of character, people themselves, events which happen in this world can't be characterized only in vocabulary of black and white.
    I also want to mention that those worries about disappointing the family important not only for Chinese people, I suppose it's an important ting for any thoughful and caring child. I really think you can let your parents down, you are such a hardworking person, so I believe everyhting will be just fine! Keep your positive attitude !
    Those photographs are wonderful, that new lens is really working:) Great purchase, dear!

  7. I've seen that video before and I think it's hilarious! I think it's important to find a balance between being realistic and being optimistic. I like to think of it as being cautiously optimistic. Good luck with acceptance letters.. but like you said, I know you'll be happy wherever you end up!

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

  8. Oh, gosh. Reminds me back in the days when I was still choosing where to go. Either choosing to enroll in my dream uni or be in the same school with my hs friends. It was a tough decision. I had to let go and walked out my comfort zone. Proved to be one of the best decision I've ever made. I don't know how my life or things could have turned out if I didn't pursue what I wanted over what I grew accustomed of.

    And hurray with the 50mm lens! I knew there was something different and special with the photos. :)

  9. Emerson had it right: you've already sent those apps off, so now all you can do is wait and see. I know that's easy for me to say, especially since I'm the 'out of sight, out of mind' kind of person, but don't get too worked up over 'what if's'. I bet that your applications were better than you thought and I can't wait to see how everything turns out in May.


  10. Good luck with colleges! I know how you del-I am applying this semester as well!


  11. Good luck with colleges! I know how you del-I am applying this semester as well!


  12. Amazing outfit!, i really love the shorts !!


  13. I love your sequin shorts! So great!

  14. good luck on deciding which college to go to. man, that makes me feel old knowing that you're just getting into college and I've already graduated from it. but anyway, surely you'll have lots of fun. and i live this sequin shorts! so pretty!

    xo, Carla

  15. You look absolutely gorgeous. Love your style.
    Follow each other GFC/Bloglovin?
    Do leave a comment when you follow and i'll follow you right back.

  16. How come i can never find anything that cool at Kohl's? Love the sparkly shorts on you especially how you paired them with neutral pieces like the cardigan and booties.

  17. You look SO cute, girl! I love your little sequined shorts-- they would be perfect paired with black accessories for New Years. And I totally understand where you're coming from with the college application process- I got really stressed over it last year, and it definitely can be discouraging to realize that your applications could have been better. But I trust that you put a l lot of time and effort into your applications and that you'll be a super competitive candidate no matter where you applied! Good luck!

    Xo, Hannah

  18. I bet colleges will be tripping over their feet for you! It's great that you actually care though! I know everything will work out, by the way LOVE your shorts !


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